Lyme recovery and exercise

I have to be honest.  I've always hated working out, especially at a gym.  I felt clumsy on the treadmill, worried that all eyes were focused on my inability to run at 6.0.  I sometimes had a hard time picking up my feet to merely walk down a sidewalk, and now I was making them do it on a moving object?!  But I sucked up my hatred and went anyway, usually for a few months before I decided I much preferred walking outside... or sitting on my couch. 

Lyme has changed that.  I spent two years on my couch, fatigued.  When I did work out, my muscles and mind gave out, unwilling to power through pain.  My doctor encouraged me to get back to exercise though when he pulled the PICC.  "It strengthens your immune system," he said.  We talked about Dr. B's aerobics recommendation, and I was encouraged to do it anyway, "to tolerance."  Before Lyme, I would have allowed "tolerance" to be a cop-out, giving up on cardio far before I was truly fatigued. 

Not now.  I work out with a trainer to rebuild muscle that was lost over the last two years.  And then I get on the treadmill, set the incline to 2.5, the speed to 3.5, and I power walk, sometimes I even run (though it's far more difficult to read this way).  And I sweat.  I never thought I'd crave exercise, but I do.  I'm thinking of getting a treadmill for my house (the whole toddler mom thing being my major concern) because I need it. 

Before, exercise was a choice.  Then my body gave out, and I couldn't do it anymore.  Through Lyme disease I've recognized how critical it is to keep my body as strong as possible.  I feel guilty eating pizza, not because of the calories, but rather because I know I'm missing out on an opportunity to give my body the nutrients it needs to rebuild (not that I don't indulge every now and then). 

I still may not be able to lose weight because of the metabolic disregulation, but working out isn't for weight management anymore.  It's respect, for my body, for my mind, both of which need the sweat to function at their best.

Off antibiotics, now what?

I meant to post a long time ago about being off antibiotics, but then there was Christmas and then all of a sudden it was February, and I still hadn't posted.

I had my PICC line pulled the end of December.  I can't even tell you how good it felt to scratch my poor arm again.  And take a shower without having to worry about water getting underneath bandaging. 

But as good as it was to be off antibiotics, I still had to deal with lingering symptoms.  I think that's why it's taken me so long to post.  Stopping the meds should be a cause for great celebration.  BUT... I am still not better, or at least not better in the way I think I should be.  The fatigue is gone.  The muscle pains are gone.  The migrating joint stiffness is gone.  But I am still dizzy.  I had two weeks in January when I wasn't dizzy, and I thought maybe the Doxy had been causing some of my problem.  But, like always, the dizziness returned.  I also am still having this breathing problem that is either nerve damage or gastrointestinal. 

We ran a heavy metal test, and I just talked to my doctor last week.  My lead and mercury levels are slightly elevated, though my doctor doesn't usually treat in that range.  Given how sensitive I am to everything, though, we decided that heavy metal chelation was at least worth a shot, particularly since I got sick four days after I got a flu shot.  Another thing we discussed was getting another neurologist in the conversation, so I will be headed to Naples, Florida, this Spring to possibly try hyperbaric oxygen therapy. 

My mom has asked how much further I would go in seeking treatment for this dizziness, which is a pretty hard question to answer right now.  I think there are only a couple more routes to pursue before I would have to just accept chronic dizziness.  But for now, there are still options.  So we press on.